This morning my stomach dropped and my ears rang with the words, “We’ve been in a wreck, EMS is on the way.” The day I leave my cellphone at home. The day I have a work training to lead. Wacky Wednesday.
Kindly, my coworker offered her cellphone so that I could figure out where Sophia and E were waiting. Of course, E wouldn’t pickup because he didn’t recognize the number I was calling from. Holy Shit! I was catastrophizing, ruminating how awful the scene would be when I arrived.
Fortunately, when I arrived, Sophia was sipping milk from her canteen and holding a new pink bunny that EMS had given her. When she saw me, she smiled and then her eyes welled up with tears. I knew that to mean, “I’m ok, but it was scary, Mama.” I hugged her as tight as I could and then made sure E was ok, too.
The classic BMW was the only casualty. Rear ended by a Tahoe while E was stopped at a red light. Texting, is my guess.
While tucking Sophia in bed this evening, she asked me what happened to her Dada’s race-car. I tried to explain that it had a boo-boo and that we could not fix it. We talked about how scary it was and that everyone was ok, now.
When I was a little older than Sophia, my favorite book was Wacky Wednesday 
by Theo LeSieg (also known as Dr. Seuss). The illustrations depict impossible and improbable situations that a young boy encounters. When he draws attention to them, he is told that nothing is wacky at all. I found it maddening when this happened, as obviously all the adults were MORONS.
Explaining things to Sophia who is at the age of “Why?” makes me feel incapable, and really, kind of like a moron. Our world is complicated, our knowledge formed by years of layering and spackling our mind’s drywall.
Why can’t the car be fixed? Why can’t I go to school? Why can’t I have ice cream for lunch?
To my horror, I answered recently, “Because I said so.” Nnoooooo! I broke one of my sworn promises to myself that I would never, ever say that to my kids. But sometimes, with my mind clouded with responsibility, it’s the only thing I can muster.
I love that she questions, even when she questions authority. Good girl, that’s the only way she’ll learn.
Last week, she was fascinated by my ability to turn eggs GREEN. Yay, one point for me! If only I can stay two steps ahead of her…
Green Eggs and Ham
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